Open Megadungeon

Grubs, bad meat and singing ladies

‘Master says bite bad things so I bite the bad things. Sometimes they are tasty.’ - Fang II

Fang II barked a greeting and Regis Twiddlefingers, the recently rescued gnome, turned in surprise for evidently he understood the hyena’s growls and barks. It is thought that gnomes can speak with creatures of the forest, though it is a commonly held misconception that this only applies to badgers and stoats. Here was the opportunity for a unique take on the groups adventures. ‘Ugh is my master. He is a good master. He takes me down into the tunnels all the time. It is fun chasing things and biting them. I bite who the master says to bite. Today I bit many things.”

“The tunnels smell good, like blood and fresh death. The shouty one with the long cat ears was being noisy and bossing people around. He smells too nice, like he is always taking baths. Fang hates baths. I got to bite one of those tasty grubs. I like the soft wavy face best. Yummy. I felt sad the grub head broke off so quick but I got to eat delicious soft face bits. Master doesn’t like the face bits. He went all cold when they touched him and I had to lick his face till he started paying attention. Master woke up covered in slobber but he didn’t mind. Master is good like that.”

“Pointy ears kept shouting and bossing people around. We walk through tunnels. All tunnels look the same to Fang. We find some crazy men. I bite some of them. They are full of black blood. Tastes like bad meat. Their claws hurt Fang and master says ‘Go back Fang.’ Fang felt bad leaving master but Fang does what he’s told. Fang is a good dog. With crazy men dead we stop to catch breath. Small one says words that made Fang feel better and Fang’s wounds close. Fang likes the small one.”

“One of the girls starts singing. She found a metal hat with bird wings on it. I like chasing birds but I wouldn’t chase this lady. She is good at stabbing but also a coward. I know I ran from the scary lizard things that screech real loud. That hurts Fang’s ears but the lady ran from a spider the same size as a Fang. Both ladies look and smell the same. Now Fang can tell them apart; coward wears a winged hat and is always singing, she sings so much it hurts Fangs ears. I think master also doesn’t like her singing because he always makes a sour face when the lady sings. Brave one is brave and stabs lots of things. The brave one stabs the spider and looks mad at coward who looks like she is going to cry.”

“Poor coward lady and brave lady have a fight only it’s not a real fight instead it’s with lots of blah blah noise and yelling. Fang starts barking FIGHT, FIGHT but the girls don’t understand. No one understands Fang. Girls must be from the same litter, they look the same and both smell like steel and early morning tavern floor. Both fight for shouty pointy ear though winged helmet looks like she wants to do her own thing now. All rooms look the same to Fang but soon we find orcs. I smell blood. This is were we find you small one. Orcs were hurting you but winged helmet lady saved you. Maybe she is brave after all. Pointy ear yelled at the orcs and some fell down sleeping. Master says bite them so I bite them till no more are moving. Coward girl must just be scared of spiders because she killed plenty of orcs. Pointy ear started bossing a captured orc around. The orc must not have said the right things because pointy ears gets so mad he cuts the orcs head off. He seems shouty and mean but girls like him. Fang isn’t worried though. Fang has a good master. He does what he is told. Fang is a good dog.”

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